My Hero, Douchebag
by GreyFang82
Summary: Douchebag tried to go back to the past... didn't go as planned. Now he's somewhere where REAL heroes and villains are fighting on a daily basis. Will he find a way back home? or will he be the hero the city needs? Join our farting crime fighter in this oddly serious crossover. Constructive criticism is always welcome.
1. Chapter 1

Why did he had to eat the Seven Layer Quesarito Chipotle Beefy Nacho Supreme? Morgan Freeman himself said he needed to believe in himself if he wanted it to work properly. But I guess it's hard to tell them that seeing his parents argue on a daily basis, having to kill his dad to save his mom, and being blamed for all of it by his so called "friends" didn't really make him feel good about himself. Now he was lost in time… not knowing where he'll end up.

Douchebag woke up in the middle of the street. It seemed like it was the afternoon. Wait… something is off… Oh yeah! This looks nothing like South Park. Where was he? He took a closer look around, he saw a boy a few years older than him in a school uniform walking toward a underpass. Guess that's the best person to ask, considering no one else was around.

As Douchebag made his way toward the teen when he suddenly heard him let out a forced laugh, one filled with fake happiness… They were both in the underpass when he noticed something. Douchebag saw something coming out the sewer opening in the middle of the underpass. It was a mass of green sludge moving toward the teen. "You'll make a perfect skin suit for me to hide in, kid" was what he heard as it lunged at him.

Almost on instinct, Douchebag let loose a fart, although not as strong as he wanted. In that instant time itself grinded to a halt, with all the speed Douchebag could muster, he made his way to get in between the teenager and the substance. Four seconds passed from the process of closing the gap. As time resumed Douchebag released his most iconic fart: Dragonshout. The creature was blown back at least 15 feet all the way into the street. "W-what just happened?" the teenager said, however this wasn't the time to answer questions as the creature flung an appendage toward the two. Douchebag easily dodged it, but the teen wasn't so lucky as he was blown back and hit the ground… out cold.

"Ah a hero arrives! A young one at that, after I take care of you I'll be taking your body too!" Douchebag held his neutral look sternly and prepared another fart. But as he tried to release another one, he felt excruciating pain from his butt. It seems that the Seven Layer Quesarito Chipotle Beefy Nacho Supreme really did a number on him… Douchebag fell to his knees from the pain before looking back at the creature. Another swipe of his tentacle came down, with Douchebag only barely dodging it. This is bad, Douchebag knows his "superpowers" are just make believe so using them were useless and his only real powers being his farts, leaving the only thing that could help him… not an option.

Just as the creature was about the throw another attack, the sewer cover shot up, and out jumped out a large man with a white shirt. "Have no fear, you are safe… Now that I am here, that is!" The creature instantly throw his appendage at the man, but missed as he ducked down, and destroyed a portion of the underpass. The man then made his way toward the monster, with the creature responding accordingly by trying to grab him by with his appendage. "Texas Smash!" was what the man shouted as he punched the creature into goo.

The man in the white shirt quickly put the remnants of the goo creature into a bottle before turning to where the two young boys were… Only to realize there was only the teen that was knocked out cold. "Hm… wonder where the other one ran off to… guess he went back home…" The large man then went up to the teen and gave quick slaps to the teen to wake him up. In reality, Douchebag was hiding in the overpass from the man, last thing he needed was explaining himself to someone like this. He needed someone who wasn't gonna punch people into soup.

Douchebag let out a say before heading deeper, into what looked like a city, to find some answers to where he was… and possibly a when as well. If nothing else, he probably could get his butt checked out by a hospital. This turned from what was the worst day of his life… to an even more tedious mess than what it already was.

Author's Note: Alright, I'm doing what no one else has done and making a South Park (Fractured But Whole) and My Hero Academia crossover… because why not? You already have a something based on superheroes so why not cross it over with one of the most popular superhero animes out there? (Also if this story does well enough I might make a OPM one… who knows)

Now the next chapter will take a bit to make because… I actually haven't watched the show or read the manga so I need to do some "research" before going any further. Also if you were wondering, yes I'm making Douchebag's farts his quirk. I mean… they are so bad they rip apart space-time that's like… the most badass and busted quirk ever.

Any advice or constructive criticism is welcome, this story will be played mostly seriously with some obvious fart jokes. The only South Park character that's gonna be in this story is gonna be Douchebag (and maybe Morgan Freeman).


	2. Chapter 2

Not much time had passed being in this city, but it was clear he wasn't in America anymore. What gave it away you ask? The Asian character writing. Douchebag didn't know if it was Chinese or Japanese but could at least tell it was of eastern origin, he also didn't want to assume… mostly due to the habits instilled in him by the PC Principle. This led to the obvious problem of not knowing where the hell to go. Douchebag stopped to… well… he attempted talk to the people of where he was but the fact he really hated talking led to most people just ignoring him. Hours passed of fruitless searching for someone to talk to when he finally came by a discarded newspaper in an ally. Douchebag took one look a the published date on it… When he was in South Park it was the year 2017… according to this paper, it was the year 2135.

Douchebag felt like something was crushing his chest, restricting his breathing. He couldn't believe it, with how far he was in the future… everyone he would have ever known would be dead. He had already lost his father, and his mother likely already bled out when he farted everyone forward in time… what does he do now? Douchebag released the paper and let his head fall downward. A solid minute passed when a though entered his head, what about the TimeFart? That's right! He just needed to fart himself back to the past! Douchebag took a deep breath before focusing his bowels… only to crumble onto the floor. The pain was immense, something he couldn't relate to anything he had felt before. He laid there for what felt like an hour, feeling completely alone. He was stuck here, no powers, no friends. Nobody to help him, no where to stay, nothing. Then a familiar feeling hit him… he was hungry.

Eventually Douchebag got himself off the ground and dug through his pockets. $22.31 was what he had to his name, he could only help the people here accepted this, or at least had an easy way to exchange it. Just as he was going to go off to find a place to eat, the newspaper he dropped caught his eye once again. Luckily the paper seemed to be one of bilingual printing and a familiar name could be seen "Freeman's Tacos' grand opening" with an address listed. Douchebag's heart almost skipped a beat, was it possible? No he should be dead by now… right? Maybe it was one of his kids? Regardless it was his only hope.

As it turned out, it was much harder to navigate around a large city like this one rather than a small town like South Park. Let alone on of a completely different language for the most part. Luckily, Douchebag was able to ask directions by pointing at the address on the paper. At first the young American tried to use public transportation… before realizing he can't exchange his money. Turns out money from over one hundred years ago that look as if they were brand new was very suspicious. Despite being very disappointed at first he decided to suck it up and instead grabbed a map of the city and started his long walk to the restaurant. Opening up the map, the restaurant was stationed all the way into the residential area, far from the area he currently resided in.

By the time Douchebag finally entered the same city block as the restaurant he saw the sky showing a bright orange sky, showing how close nighttime really was. When he made it to the entrance he saw a single person eating inside the restaurant and no one in sight by the register. Douchebag quickly made his way inside and reaching up and ringing the bell. Taking the time to look around, he noticed the shop looked miraculously similar to the one in South Park, with the only major differences being the added Asian characters above the English words. " Welcome to Freeman's Tacos, how can I help you kid?" was what Douchebag heard behind him while he looked around. The young American's eyes began to water as he saw the man who spoke. It was Morgan Freeman, THE Morgan Freeman. It was as if he hadn't aged a day since he met him in his Taco Shop and finally seeing an old face felt nice. Morgan Freeman also took a double take as he saw the familiar face. "New Kid? Is that you?" was all he could say as he went around the register counter and walked up to the child.

The New Kid wiped his eyes before nodding his head, but Freeman quickly held his hand up to stop any more interactions. "I see, the Seven Layer Quesarito Chipotle Beefy Nacho Supreme sent you this far into the future… If you're here to get another try at it… then I'm sorry to say, once used it can't be reused…" The New Kid's face quickly was broken into a face of sadness and confusion. "I'm sorry New Kid, such a fart could rip-apart the entire timeline so trying it again would be suicide… there's no way for you to get back home" Douchebag dragged himself to the closest chair before sitting down, simply looking at the ground as he tried to process what Morgan Freeman just said. He tried to hold in the feelings, just like he always did when he saw his parents fight, just like when they abandoned the friends he makes before moving, even when he had to kill his father… but this was all too much, all these things happening in one day, knowing everyone you ever knew dying… was too much. For the first time, in however long he could remember, Douchebag was crying.

After a while, Douchebag was able to calm down, and letting out his thoughts ever since they tossed away the Stick of Truth. "What happened… when I was gone…" Morgan Freeman held a sullen yet stern face when he answered. "All the adults in the town continued to get high and drink as the cat piss was missed in them. Slowly the entire adult population died off, and the kids slowly then after… I left before that, couldn't stand seeing them go like that. A few years later real life superheroes and villains started to pop up all over the world… ironic huh?" Douchebag simply let out a shaky breath before asking another question "How… are you still alive?" Morgan Freeman grew quiet for a moment, just before walking up to the last customer and speaking to them in an Asian sounding language. The man then left a payment and walked out the store, Morgan Freeman then turned the sign to closed.

The old man then walked to the same table as Douchebag and sat right across from him. "Do you remember when I told you about TimeFart? How I said there were farts bad enough to affect Space-Time?", Douchebag nodded his head "Well, how did you think I found out about them? The Cheesy Shrimparito was the first one I ate. And was the one that I discovered the powers from." Douchebag held a confused face as he heard this, after a moment of thinking, something clicked in his head that gave him understanding. "But there was one side-effect I didn't discover until much later, turns out when you mess with Space-Time, it doesn't like to let you act like nothing happened. No, turns out Time no longer holds its effects on those like us. It's been over one hundreds years and yet I haven't grown any older. Its as if Space-Time was a ride at a carnival and because of our farts, it threw us off. The same will happen to you too kid… the rest doesn't matter too much."

The New Kid help a surprised look, before letting his saddened face shine through again. "What do I do now? All my family is dead, I can't go back… and now there are real life superheroes and villains?" Douchebag simply covered his face with his hands before placing his face down onto the table, in a defeated manner. Morgan Freeman watched the ten year old for a moment before letting out a sigh. "Look, if you're willing to work. I'll let you stay with me." Douchebag looked at him at with a confused look before asking another question "What would you have me do?" Morgan Freeman quickly answered "Cleaning the bathrooms, helping me prepare the food, nothing too crazy". The New Kid nodded his head, it probably be the best deal he was gonna get all day. It was better than sleeping outside somewhere. "Good, well then." Morgan Freeman picks up the dirty dishes the last customer and goes to clean it "After I clean these up, we can head back to my home."

His house was nice it looked like every other house in the area, but the inside was very furnished and clean even more than what he would have expected from the other houses. Douchebag quickly made his way on the couch and sat down. Morgan Freeman turns on the TV before heading upstairs for a bit. The TV powered on to a news station that was talking about a hero named All-Might and how he saved two teenagers from monster and began showing a video of the event. Douchebag then quickly recognized one of the boys as the one he tried to save from that slime monster. Before he could watch any more, Morgan Freeman hands the 10 year old a pillow and blanket. "You can sleep on the couch, I'm going to give you the rundown tomorrow so don't stay up too late. Goodnight kid." The old man then went back upstairs to bed, leaving The New Kid in front of the TV and the couch that would serve as his New Bed. Sleep slowly took the 10 year old as he slumped down onto the couch.

The next day came fast, with Morgan Freeman opening the shop and giving The New Kid a work uniform and giving him the basic rundown of his jobs. "First up is cleaning up the bathrooms, go ahead and go inside while I get the cleaning supplies". The bathroom wasn't really dirty at all, it was as if no one really used them, yet Freeman still insisted they be cleaned. About an hour or two of scrubbing and replacing air fresheners and the job was done, with Douchebag making his way back to Morgan Freeman for the next task. "Now we wait kid, not many people come by, but luckily it's enough to make a living… How's about I show you how to make some different dishes?" "I thought this was a make your own food store?" Douchebag asked "That fell out of fashion and interest really fast, so I had to go back to the usual restaurant procedures… but enough of my complaining, let's start with the easy stuff huh? Just makes sure to wash your hands first"

After a few quiet hours of learning how to cook, Morgan Freeman left to use the restroom. In those few minutes the first customers of the day came into the store. The trio looked rather young, with them being around 14 or 15 years of age. Douchebag quickly recognized one of them as the teenager that was saved by All-Might, and the moment he walked in he could tell this guy was an asshole. "Why do you even eat here, nothings even good here!" the teen said to one of his "friends". "I just like how it tastes here, nice and spicy. You should try it Bakugo, it's actually really good!" Bakugo simply scoffs and sits down on the nearest table. The one teenager that praised the food walked up "Hey kid! I want the hard shell meat taco meal, no sour cream, not too much lettuce and a good amount of salsa!" Douchebag nodded his head as he entered the order into the register and stretching out his hand for the money. The kid gave him money he had never seen before, luckily the teenager simply said to keep the change.

Douchebag was able to do a pretty decent job on making the tacos, after all he had plenty of practice in the past. As he finished he took the plate and walked over toward the table the trio were sitting at. "Like I said, I didn't need any saving, it pisses me off that that quirkless nerd thought I needed help!" Bakugo said to the other two people at the table. Douchebag placed the plate next to the teenager who ordered it before getting a broom to sweep around the store's floor. "Besides, I'm gonna be the best hero once the testing starts. I have the strongest quirk of anyone of this year!" Bakugo said with a smirk. Douchebag let out an audible scoff as he remembered the video footage of the teenager try to struggle as he burned the entire area to ash. "What did you say?" Bakugo said with menace in his voice and spite in is eyes, "Huh kid?". Douchebag met his spiteful gaze with an equally intense one "You did see the news right? You were burning everything to the ground and you call that becoming of a hero? Hell the other kid did more to help than you." Douchebag wanted to prod the hot-blooded teen, and man did it work.

Bakugo let out a small blast that reduced the top part of the broom to ash and made his way toward the 10 year old, clearly looking to fight. Before either of the two could do anything, Morgan Freeman suddenly appeared and picked Bakugo up by his uniform. "I think it's time for you kids leave". Bakugo pulled his uniform away and stomped out of the store with the other two stumbling to follow. "New Kid, I know you're scrappy and all, but please try not to pick fights in my store" Douchebag simply nodded and cleaned the area where the was eating he noticed one of them left a small stack of papers. Douchebag took a quick look at the papers and realized, they were paperwork to participate in some kind of hero testing that was around 10 months away. Douchebag pocketed the papers and resumed his work day, thinking about how such a jerk could ever be a hero. Hell, he probably would make a better hero than that jackass. Hmm… Perhaps he would, perhaps he would.

**Author's Note:** Alright, finally the next chapter is done. I'm taking some advice and making the chapters about 2000-2500 words long. I've also decided, that I will be responding to comments posted when I release a new chapter. If you guys don't like this part feel free to tell me and I'll quit doing it. As always constructive criticisms or interesting suggestions are welcome. Thanks for reading.

**Dmandog056:** Thanks for the word length advice, I'll definitely try it out. Will Douchebag be paired with anyone? Hm… Maybe Tsuyu? I feel like her stoic and relaxed but straightforward nature really seems to remind me of Douchebag or could make her easier for him to relate to. But we'll see, if not pairing the definitely the main friend for him. Also, Morgan Freeman in japan. Boom. I just hope I can keep him interesting.

**TheWoosmann:** Yeah, thanks. I'm not doing this for the sake of gross-out or some kind of fetish. It just so happens that Douchebag's powers are fart-based. I will try my best to make them as non-disgusting as possible just so this story is more palatable for future readers.


	3. Chapter 3

About a week has passed since Douchebag has made it to the future. It was awkward trying to get registered as an adopted child to an old man, especially the fact Doucebag didn't have any identification so by all extent and purposes he was an illegal immigrant. Very awkward indeed. After that whole ordeal was a trip to the hospital, now THAT was the epitome of awkward, having to have minor surgery done on your butt by a grown woman… and make it NOT seem suspicious was… difficult to say the least.

But finally after all that, Douchebag was finally able to simply focus on working with Morgan Freeman by day… and training his powers by night. It only took three nights for him to get a handle on all his powers once again. For what reason? Well after that run in with the asshole kid, Doucebag has decided he wanted to join that hero thing just to show him how a real hero should be. Was it well thought out? No, not at all. He only realized this when he realized it was a literal high school. That day was especially crushing the the ten year old, so much so that even Morgan Freeman noticed.

"What seems to have got you in a funk, kid?" Morgan asked the now sulking child on the sofa. The New Kid only sighed as he handed the old man the piece of paper the teenagers left on the table that day. It was a paper for what is needed to be enrolled into UA. "You wanted to join that hero school?" Morgan asked "Why?".

To Morgan's surprise Doucebag actually answered him "Because… I wasn't there to save my friends, I wasn't able to save South Park… I wasn't able to save my mom." The New Kid stopped for a moment before looking at the old man in the eyes. "I want to help people, I don't want other people to end up like me, because if I have to keep these powers that ruined so many people's lives… then I'll use it." At that moment the ten year old went limp on the sofa "but that's not gonna happen… I'm not old enough, and since I can't age… I'll never be…" Morgan Freeman looked at the boy with pity, and left the room to think. It was clear the kid really wanted this, and if he doesn't he might just be consumed by his guilt. It may not be healthy to being a hero to resolve guilt… but neither was wallowing in it. Morgan was saving this for when he was finished with it all, when he couldn't take living anymore. But now that he has someone like him, someone who will suffer the same curse… perhaps helping them is worth more than that.

The next day was very dull, a decent amount of customers, it was clear that Douchebag was just going through the motions, and wasn't really paying attention to anything that was happening. Seeing this really did cement Morgan's decision, and when the work day was over, and he went to the refrigerator to pull out the one of a kind food created by himself, originally for himself.

He places the burrito on a plate and gave it to the new kid. Douchebag looked at the burrito and then Morgan, clearly confused on what it was. The older man sat across from the child before speaking "That is the one of a kind Father-Time Cheese & Jerky Burrito, made with cheese found on an ancient frozen corpse, and the Jerky of mummified animals… it is the most bowel-turning burrito ever made…" The New Kid opened the wrapping to see and smell the absolutely vile smelling meat and cheese. "I made it to develop a new TimeFart… Fast Forward. To gain the ability to age not only other people… but yourself" Morgan took a deep breath before speaking the next part. "I was planning on using it to end my life. Made for when I had enough of being cursed to outlive my family and friends." Douchebag looked at the old man with sympathy, he could only imagine that feeling. "But… then you showed up… now I offer you the chance to follow your calling, to be a superhero".

It didn't take any convincing, Douchebag already knew what he had to do, and did so without hesitation. Pinching his nose, and barely chewing, he was able to eat the foal burrito and it only took a few seconds to kick in. Despite the powerful gas building up, it only left as a silent waft… and then came the years. Almost as if it happened all at once, The New Kid could feel his body grow larger, stronger… and sweater. Once the aging had finished, he could see he was only half a foot off from being as tall as Morgan Freeman himself. "Well then, let's get you some new clothes… and we can start getting you ready for that entrance exam, what do you say?"

A lot was happening in one day, first he gets older and has to get used to being an entire foot taller than before, and now he has to do exercises with Morgan Freeman at some abandoned building in the middle of nowhere. "Alright kid, we have ten months to get you ready for that damn exam," the older man stood in the center of the roof waiting for Douchebag to face him. The teenager nodded to show he was listening "Well, we have to start with how you're going to use your powers. You maybe able to mess with time, but that's not gonna matter if you can't hurt any of those villains out there." Douchebag took a moment to think, he had his other abilities, his shouts seemed to work pretty well on that one creature, but he did lack the force to actually take it out, he was also injured from the Seven Layer Quesarito Chipotle Beefy Nacho Supreme at the time.

The months that passed was exhausting, having to work in the restaurant, catching up in educational learning, and then there was training his powers. The restaurant wasn't an issue, but what really killing him was trying to reach an acceptable knowledge level, luckily Morgan Freeman was somehow able to ingrain knowledge fairly swiftly. "You've pretty good at this, were you a teacher at some point?" Douchebag asked the man "No, but I have been on so many educational documentaries and TV shows that you tend to pick up a thing or two" Freeman responded. It took 8 months and many sleepless nights for The New Kid to prepare himself to take a public educational exam to be accepted as fit to even take the UA testing and only barely passing with a 71%. The last two months were dedicated to training his powers and his tactics.

Douchebag was blasted over 15 feet back from a dragonshout by Morgan Freeman himself, he was able to catch himself before falling off the roof. "Come on new kid, if you can't beat an old gassy man how are you gonna outperform those other wanna-be heroes?" Morgan Freeman calmly said. With a deep breath The New Kid was able to climb back over the ledge and back onto the roof. Douchebag looked at the situation and came up with a plan, Morgan Freeman just like him could use Pause, but it was clear he doesn't have Glitch or Duplication, that gave him the advantage. The best course of action is to try to rush him down with his past self and then stop him from stopping time with Glitch.

In a cloud of gas came out a clone of himself, his past self grabbed his hands and began swinging him around, all while he used dragonshout to increase his momentum, at the peak of the rotation his clone released and sent him barreling toward Morgan Freeman. Just as planned, Freeman began to unleash Pause, but his clone quickly reacted with Glitch cutting out the moment he would use Pause and the memory of even doing so. That extra time was enough to allow Douchebag to tackle and restrain Freeman then and there. "Well, nice job new kid. You stopped me from using my powers and took advantage of your clone. You might just make it in," Freeman said with a smile.

It was early in the morning when Doucebag got ready for the big day, he got ready by… I kid you not, a mariachi outfit and plan bookbag. Morgan Freeman found it funny and decided against buying something new for him to wear "Gotta go now, or you might be late" was all he said. He was dropped off by Freeman's car in the front entrance to the UA entrance exams. "Now, good luck out there kid, and remember if anyone asks for or if you need to put down your name… it would be?" Douchebag audible sighs before looking at the older man and grumbling out the answer "My name is Jalapeno Freeman". Morgan Freeman began chuckling to himself "Yes you are, yes you are… well I'll be back to pick you up when this all wraps up." That was all he said before driving off, leaving 'Jalapeno' to face down the others who came to take the exam.

The orientation weird to say the least, some kind of DJ was giving out instructions and some guy called out someone else out for "Not taking this seriously"... seemed kinda like a jerk. Oh well, none of his business. It all seemed simple enough, ten minutes to defeat as many bots as possible and avoiding the big bad. He looked down at his card… Battle Center A huh? I guess this is where it really will make or break his chances. He got the chance to get changed out of his embarrassing mariachi outfit and into a more appropriate workout outfit, and as he waited for the gates to open he felt like someone was staring at him. He turned to see a rather odd looking girl, she had rather large hands and and off putting mouth, as to not be rude he smiled and nodded his head. The girl did the same, she was nice enough. He looked around some more, and saw something that put him on edge. It was the teenager from the news and the one that he nearly got in a fight with in Freeman's Tacos. This was gonna be rough was what he thought to himself, Douchebag hoped he didn't need to interact with him, but no one knew what was gonna happen in this mock battle. "Alright, let's start" was what Douchebag heard before it all went to hell.

Darkwolf54326: I'm not planning on putting in any of the classes in this story, not because they aren't cool, but I always saw the class skills as make believe but the Time Abilities and Shouts as real things as they seem to interact with the real world. But that's my take.

Dmandog056: You thought I wrote myself into a corner, but you were wrong! JK, anyways yeah time abilities really helped me out here. So now not only does Douchebag control his own aging but also the aging of others! But eh, probably won't be used to often.

Colt Cobra: Ah, but you see I saw this coming, that is why I thought of a way around that.

The Afterdreamer: Hm… interesting thoughts. I kinda blew past the doctor part, seeing as in-game one quick doctor visit fixed the problem, so I didn't see it as a huge thing. I am planning to use more powers that revolve on real effects, though I like the idea of stuff like Final Girl or using weapons gained in Stick of Truth, he kinda lacks the means to get those weapons. At least at the moment. But you will see more usage from his Shouts and Time Abilities, he's not gonna be the most physically strong but he is gonna be very tactical and ability focused.


	4. Chapter 4

The entire crowd of exam participants sprang into action, but one was the first to get in, and that was the teenager that could summon explosions from thin air. The initial blast sent most of the front teenagers backward from the force, but the ones toward the back were able to capitalize and rushed in. 'Jalapeno', as he must refer to himself, didn't waste time and just as he practiced began to use both his clones and his fartkour to quickly travel through the testing area. Douchebag was able to take out a two-point robot by dragonshouting it as he landed on it, crushing it into the pavement. But for every bot he destroyed it seemed everyone else destroyed three times that amount. 'Perhaps now is a good time to use your other abilities' The New Kid thought to himself. It was now that he really put in effort, he constantly began spamming Pause every chance he got, this allowed him to finally catch up with most people, but it was clear one was still blowing everyone else out of the water.

Bakugo threw caution to the wind when the exam started and spend his entire time, blitzing and destroying every bot in sight. However, in doing so endangered nearby test takers. Just as he blasted a two-pointer through a building it nicked the shoulder of another tester, completely taking them out of the exam. As the test dragged on, Douchebag found himself forced to spend his time saving students that were nearly flattened by Bakugo's recklessness. But the worst happened in the last minute of the battle.

Tsuyu was chasing down a troublesome two-pointer when it happened. Just as she finally was about to land on the bot to crush it, Bakugo flew in and blasted both her and the robot across the map, the fall was so high she couldn't reach any buildings in time before she would hit the ground. Luckily, one other person noticed this and took action, 'Jalapeno' used his clone to launch himself into the air and catching her. As the two fell, Douchebag used the most potent dragonshout possible to slow their descent. The two landed on the roof of a building, but were none the worse for wear, and 'Jalapeno' collapsing from exhaustion just as the siren sounded the end of the entrance exams.

When Douchebag came to, he was laying before an old lady. "Lucky for you, you suffered no major injuries. Try not to tire yourself out like that next time" was all she said as she walked away to tend to other teenagers. The New Kid groggily go to his feet, and started to head to the exit, even though he wasn't sure on his exact score, he was pretty confident he did well enough to pass and honestly he was too tired to even check. As he was about to make it out of the testing area he was stopped by a familiar odd-looking girl. She walked up to thank him for saving her from the fall, they exchanged names before saying goodbye.

The drive home was quiet with Morgan Freeman simply asking how it went. "It was alright, but I'm just too tired to talk about it" was all what Douchebag said for the ride. About a week later was when a letter arrived, it had a holographic message about being accepted into U.A. his final score was 28 Villan Points and 30 Rescue Points, placing him in 9th place. Huh… not bad. Douchebag could only ready himself for what was to come from UA.

Meanwhile, at the Entrance Exam Review Room, they sat in confusion at review the footage of 'Jalapeno'. "This kid's quirk is so weird! He's able to make a copy of himself, teleport, and can create strong wind pressures from his… farts?" one of the reviews said to the others in the room "Yeah! It's so weird, none of them are linked in anyway and yet it's clearly three different abilities on one person…" another said back. In the back of the room stood Shota Aizawa leaning on the wall, at first it was this Midoria kid that caught his attention from the fact he completely shattered his arm and leg from his quirk, but now the bigger intrigue was around this mysterious kid with seemingly three separate abilities being rolled into one quirk. Now this was something he had to test out for himself this upcoming year.

Douchebag was one of the first to make it to class 1-A's room, he constantly tugged at the collar of his UA uniform, it was clear he wasn't used to wearing uniforms and it was distracting him. As more students poured in he saw the girl he saved from the exam, the two exchanged pleasantries before taking a seat beside one another. Nether wanted to start a conversation that could be interrupted by the teacher showing up so they simply waited for others to show up, and to Douchebag's dismay he saw the asshole himself, Bakugo, show up to class.

Both himself and Tsuyu exchanged a glance of mutual dislike before turning back to see what the teen would do. Lucky for him he didn't recognize his older self and took a seat on the other side of the classroom and putting his feet up, far from him and Tsuyu. As the majority of the class filled out the tension between Bakugo and the teen from the entrance exam grew. Just as the two started to argue about how they shouldn't put their feet up, the door opened to reveal a plan looking kid with dark green hair. From there he kind of zoned out until the teacher tells everyone to put on another uniform and to head outside.

A "Quirk Apprehension Test" was what the teacher took us outside for… instead of orientation. Was this normal? Douchebag couldn't tell, he hadn't ever been in high school so he couldn't say. But then again this is a superhero high school it should surprise him either way. But what did catch him off guard was the fact he said "The Student with the lowest score will be expelled", jeez what an asshole. First test: 50 Meter Dash. He was set up to go against Mina Ashido, without hesitation he got to his starting position. The moment the robot said "Go", The New Kid let loose his Pause Timefart and in his 10 seconds of frozen time gave a brisk jog toward the finish line. As time resumed a few things happen at once. Everyone near the starting line start to gag from the smell, those who weren't gasped at what they saw, and the Robot recorded his time as "Less than 0.0 seconds…A fatal error has occurred."

The New Kid could hear chattering from his other classmates about if he could teleport, or why it smelled so bad at the starting line. But what unnerved him the most was the stare he was getting from the teacher, it was almost as if he was trying to look past him. The next test was grip strength, in this case he really wasn't very impressive at first, getting around 36 kilograms but then an idea popped into his head. While the others were doing their testing another foul smell wafted into the room, but from the smell came five copies of Jalapeno and himself working together to squeeze the grip which gave off a total of 216 kilograms, not bad.

Standing long jump, pretty straightforward, dragonshout's force let hit clear the entire sandbox without any issues, besides the disgruntled murmur from the smell and use of farts. The side steps were impossible to use his powers on, nothing he could do would help him there and just took it as a loss, especially after seeing that short purple hair kid bounce himself like he did. Now what worried Douchebag about the next test wasn't the fact he couldn't use his powers, it was the fact that in order to use it… he has to let the entire class see him stick a softball sized object in his ass and then fart it out… Not a very good image to his classmates or teacher. But as he was thinking about how not to completely mortify himself, he noticed the green haired kid from before being tangled up by the teacher. It seemed he was warning him about something. "Probably told him to start packing" was what… Bakugo was it? Yeah, what Bakugo said the teacher most likely told him.

But to everyone's surprise, the kid utterly DEMOLISHED the ball, sending the ball flying through the sky. It might have been his imagination but he could have sworn he saw a smile on the teacher's face. Just as the kid finished his throw, chatter once again began about his quirk and how it injured himself. Douchebag saw what they meant, his finger was bruised completely, but before he could really get a good look at it Bakugo started to rush toward the green haired kid with intent to harm. Out of sheer reaction, The New Kid stopped time and redirected Bakugo backwards, making him start running toward the wall behind all the students. As time resumed Bakugo stopped himself out of confusion. "What the hell's your problem?" Douchbag said to Bakugo "He beat your record and your first instinct is to attack him?". Bakugo turned to him with malice in his eyes "That was you huh? Mind your damn business kid!" was what the blonde yelled back.

Before the two could square up, the teacher called for 'Jalapeno' to go up. As he walked to pick up a ball to throw, his face began to light up with the brightest shade of red possible. He stood there for a bit, breathing heavily for an extended amount of time. Just as it seemed he would be stuck there for the rest of time the teacher walked up to him and asked him a question. "Is there a problem? Why are you eating up the rest of the classes time" Douchebag took a deep breath before whispering to Mr. Aizawa "Can you have the students turn away for this one… it's kind of embarrassing." Aizawa rolls his eyes before ordering all the students to look away, and when everyone does so he gestures for him to continue.

With a deep sigh he summoned up a clone to grab the ball… and just like the hamster, stuffed it deep into his… bottom orifice. Mr. Aizawa's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates at the action, and before he could say anything, The New Kid let loose the earth shaking fart: Nagasaki. The ball was ejected at such a velocity that not only did it break the speed barrier it started to ignite as it passed through the atmosphere. When Aizawa finally got a hold on himself he checked the score to see it pop up as 12 km in distance. He turned toward Jalapeno, only to see him fixing his pants and walking back to where the other students were. Aizawa simply wrote down his score and didn't say another word. The final three tests seemed to pass by without another incident besides the intense staring of Bakugo to both Deku and Jalapeno throughout the whole thing.

It was revealed where each student landed, one glance and Douchebag let out a sigh of relief. Jalapeno Freeman - 5th place, a big smile crept on his face when he saw that. Looking toward the end of the list to see the kid from before in last place. Before he could give his condolences on his expulsion… before Shota told everyone that it was a lie. What kind of teacher lies like that? The New Kid got a text from Morgan Freeman saying he won't be able to pick him up and that he would need to walk home and so, after letting out a sigh, that's what he did. But to his surprise he was joined by Tyusu, the two chatted as they both made their way home from school. "Guess it's pretty hard to be friends with someone who's whole ability is farting huh?" Douchebag said with a face smile, but to his surprise she responded with "There's not shame in it, I know what's like to have quirk that puts people off." He looked to the ground, realizing how she might have been teased for her looks. "Well hey, how's about freaks stick together huh?" Douchebag said with a smile, Tyusu looked at him for a moment before nodding her head "Yeah, freaks stick together."

Author's Note: I would like to remind you if you guys like the story and want more, please leave reviews on what you think so far. Criticism is welcome and appreciated. Thanks for reading.


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